


Do I Wanna Know?

by takemylifenotmyheart



Series: Do I Wanna Know? [1]
Category: Bucky Barnes - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-12
Updated: 2018-12-12
Packaged: 2019-09-17 02:50:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16966281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/takemylifenotmyheart/pseuds/takemylifenotmyheart
Summary: Based on the song Do i wanna know by Arctic Monkeys; our mans bucky doesn’t know how to deals w the feels / Currently on hiatus.





	Do I Wanna Know?

Bucky sat in his room in the Stark Towers with a glass of whiskey mixed with some of Thor’s Asgardian liquor since only alcohol didn’t affect him anymore, and he hated it. Thor got a bottle each for him and Steve whenever he visited from Asgard but it had been a while and lately the contents of his bottle were being needed more frequently than before. He barely had about enough for two or three pegs left in his. He considered “borrowing” Steve’s bottle the next day, which in all probability would be tomorrow. He bet Steve’s bottle was practically untouched, that bastard hardly ever drank. Bucky sat on his bed, the tumbler a little over half filled with the amber liquid swirling around at his movements as he tried to focus on the documentary he was watching on his laptop and more importantly, trying to ignore the fairly explicit sounds of pleasure coming from the room next to his. Bucky wondered with all his technology why Stark didn’t think of having the walls soundproofed. That way maybe he wouldn’t have to know very exact details of Y/N’s sex life.

“Ugh yes Pete right there! I’m so close!”

Bucky took a deep gulp. The ice cubes in his glass fell back with a clink. Did she have to be so fucking vocal? Bucky tried to concentrate on his stupid documentary about some extinct animals by national geographic. From the next room he could hear Y/N’s breathing getting ragged and he could hear faint indistinct moans. He tried to imagine what she looked like, her chest rising and falling softly in sync with her breathing, her lips parted open in a soft ‘o’, her hair spread haphazardly against the white bed sheet, her nails digging hard into the skin of his back-

“Fuck this.” Bucky angrily muttered as he slammed his laptop shut and left his room with only his drink his hand. The moans momentarily became a less indistinct before fading out completely as Bucky took long, sharp strides to the balcony. He stood there, looking up at the night sky, wondering how on earth he had gotten here where it was getting increasingly more difficult to be in the physical presence of Y/N day by day. He downed the remaining contents of his glass in one go as he continued to look up at the night sky. He didn’t understand this strong, primal attraction he had developed towards Y/N over time and it was slowly consuming him, a little more each day. He had tried his best to pinpoint this obsession of his to a particular day or moment but so far he had gotten nothing. All he knew was that there was this one day, one moment when seeing Y/N had felt like someone had punched him in the gut, and that was it.

Bucky was in the training compound with Steve, Clint and Sam, stocking up on arms for their mission that evening. He had gotten his metal arm a slight upgrade last week and he was now sitting sharpening knives. Clint was filling his quiver and Sam was telling them how a really hot girl in a bar last night told him that her favourite avenger was Falcon but refused to believe Sam when he said it was him. Everyone was laughing at Sam’s hilarious mimicry, even Steve couldn’t help himself. 

The evening’s mission was to be undercover. There were rumours of some highly secretive nuclear code exchange at one of the annual balls conducted by the Italian Embassy. The plan was to get the girls, Natasha, Y/N and Wanda, and Tony to enter the party as guests under false names. The rest of them had equipment or appendages that couldn’t be concealed as easily. 

Bucky was in the middle of sharpening his last knife and a hearty laugh when he looked up at Sam and his attention shifted involuntarily to the door of the training compound, which Natasha had pushed open to let herself, Y/N and Wanda in. Most specifically, his attention had been torn away by Y/N. His laugh had frozen in his face, as his expression changed to one of absolute awe. He had only ever seen her in full length combat outfit and sure, she had a good figure as did the rest of them but Bucky had never sweat it. Until now. Her black cocktail gown was sleek, had no straps that Bucky could see and had a long slit that ran high up to her upper thigh that Bucky could definitely see. Her hair was curled in rolls like they did back in the 40s and her lips were a bright ruby red. Bucky felt himself draw in a sharp, soft gasp when he saw her coming towards her. He knew he was staring but he couldn’t help himself, he didn’t know what else to do. He managed to force himself to look down at the knife in his hands when Y/N kept walking towards him. As much as he didn’t want to stop looking, he had to, he didn’t want to make her uncomfortable. He went back to absentmindedly rubbing his knife, his hands on his thighs and his knife held between his legs, his mind now far, far away from the task literally at hand. Bucky froze as he saw a black stiletto-clad foot appear right under his hands holding the knife, dead centre between his legs. Y/N had come straight up to him and placed her left foot on the couch that he was sitting on.

Fuck. What the fuck was she doing? 

Bucky looked up carefully, trying to make it seem as nonchalant as possible; trying to pretend like seeing the slit run up her thigh from up close didn’t affect him, the fact that her insanely attractive calves were right in front of his face and they didn’t affect him either, like he couldn’t almost see her underwear because her legs were spread apart and like he somehow didn’t know they were black lace, like his cock just hadn’t gotten an electric jumpstart at this proximity, like his erection wasn’t straining against his trousers, like her perfume wasn’t intoxicating and like at that instant he didn’t want to fuck her right then and there. Bucky had to pretend none of that was happening and that he was absolutely unaffected by this whole situation which was very difficult considering his brain had just decided to take a break at that very moment. Bucky smiled at Y/N and only hoped he didn’t look like an absolute idiot. 

“You look nice.” “Thanks, you clean up pretty well too.“ 

Trying to form one coherent sentence had taken enough effort for Bucky. He went back to silently sharpening his knife again. This time quietly looking up once in a while to observe Y/N pick up knives and hide them in calf straps and parts of her dress. 

So that’s what she was here for. 

Bucky heaved a small sigh of relief and hoped no one noticed him. His heart and cock simultaneously did a flip when she switched legs, to stock her other leg. He was now sure her underwear was black lace. Bucky stayed silent, only his heartbeat pounding away in his heart at thrice the recommended rate. When she finally left before smiling at him, Bucky visibly let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding all this time.

Ever since then he had been hooked. Bucky didn’t understand it, and Bucky hated not understanding. The thing Bucky hated most in the whole world was feeling helpless, feeling like he had no control over a situation and that was the exact thing that had been happening to him. He couldn’t explain his feelings and boy, he didn’t have the slightest bit of control over how he was feeling. And what bothered Bucky the most in this whole situation was how a part of him had started to revel in this loss of control over events, knowing there was not a single thing Bucky could do about it. It was like nursing a sweet, sweet toothache. A delicious mix of pleasure and discomfort, each causing the other and neither existing independently. Try as he might, Bucky couldn’t make any sense of any of it so he did what he did best, tried to avoid the problem in hopes that it would disappear by itself. That’s where the drinking had come in. It had been close to three weeks now and still, nothing.


End file.
